Saturday, 25 December 2010

No, Ho Ho

Happy Christmas to you all! Thanks for sticking with me, even though I am not as prolific or consistent as I was before.

This is the time of year when people, for reasons known to themselves, decide to threaten or take their own lives. It is the time of year for depression, anxiety attacks, drunkenness and violence. It is, in that respect, just like a Christmas episode of East Enders. except, real people, with much better acting ability, are facing real crises... sometimes fatally.

I've had a good few Christmases with LAS now and I've seen the raw impact of people's emotions when they reach this particular date. They are suddenly reminded of their lost loved ones, or their loneliness or the lovers they are no longer in contact with or are losing. I've seen these people hang themselves, drown themselves and throw themselves in front of large, fast-moving vehicles with no expectation (or likelihood) of survival. All done for Christmas and without thought of the possibility that there may be a light at the end of the tunnel they are in.

So, Christmas reminds us of goodwill, etc. but it tags the memories of others in a less pedantic way. It is the season of folly for a lot of people and I am not saying that as a Grinch.

I've been watching two movies on the screens in here (I pulled a Christmas day early shift) and they are both about Santa Claus; both lift the spirits and remind viewers of their childhoods, even to the point of tears I would imagine. They evoke pleasure and warmth simply because they attract with their soppy, nonsensical good-goody message. All required, I should add, so that we may break from our reality on the front line because from this viewpoint, there is very little love being felt out there.

Christmas is filled with crying souls who have just lost their loved ones. That will always tear at me a little, whether on the phone or in person. I remind myself constantly that I am here by something's grace and I too could just not breathe anymore or could experience what the crying people are experiencing; the death of someone very close. It steels me to try and live as full a life as possible and to hold on to people I truly care for and value. You should all remind yourselves to do the same.

Be safe.


Jane said...

Thank you for your thoughts, beautifully written.
It is always a pleasure to read you!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing your feelings for those who suffer during the holiday season. It's a keen reminder that even a small act of kindness could make a difference in another person's life. Thank you too for risking your life to save strangers. Paramedics saved my brother's life the day after Christmas many years ago and I've been forever grateful to those who do this kind of work day after day.