Acting under warrant

Four emergencies, 4 Green calls, 4 conveyed, 1 assisted, 1 treated at work, 1 not required and absolutely NO ambulances required.

My first shout of the day was to a female having an epileptic fit. I got on scene to find the flat being searched under a warrant by the police. I thought there may be less of a medical emergency and more of a distraction going on here. On numerous occasions I have attended calls for fits, faints, asthma attacks and chest pains only to find the abode being ransacked by the authorities and the suspect claiming one, some or all of these conditions in order to get out of the situation - not unlike the shoplifters I have mentioned before. It's human nature, I guess. when you are desperate and need to buy time, a little chest pain goes a long way. The theory is that we are too dumb, or scared to say they are faking it...there's the whole liability thing if it goes wrong. Unfortunately, we see the situation for what it is and often these people get nowhere. We are not dumb and some of us will tell them they are faking.

This young girl had two witnessed events, described as blackouts. They could have been seizures but she was more alert than me when I walked into the flat. You generally need a little more than five minutes to recover from an epileptic fit. She could have been genuine, so I gave her the works, in terms of obs. and she checked out just fine. I explained to her that it sounded like she may just have passed out. She agreed. It was her boyfriend who was being arrested, after all, not her.

I offered her the opportunity of going to hospital and she declined, twice. That wasn't the game plan anyway, I was there as a distraction. In fact, when I first got on scene and entered the flat, the police had to guide me past another little distraction left in the hallway on a piece of newspaper - human excrement.

Then I was sent 3.5 miles over the River (you know how I feel about that) to attend a 'female with headache'. It was given a Green2 category, which is fine but its a long way to drive (no blue lights for this one) for someone who could have taken a cab. Sorry to be so harsh but I get headaches, on the odd occasion they have been blinding and made me physically sick but I certainly DO NOT call the ambulance service. I do what you do, I cope.

I arrived on scene but could not identify the house. Then a woman waved out of the window. No, she didn't wave, she summoned me to stop and wait. I felt like a mini-cab driver. So I stopped and began to get my bags out of the car. Before I got to the door, the woman hustled the patient, who was holding her hand against her forehead, out of the house. Usually I get a chance to introduce myself and do some obs. on scene. Not this time.

I carried out my obs. in the car and took some details and discovered that she had...a headache. A bad headache. She was young and she had no significant medical problems. Her obs. were perfectly normal and she had no rash, photophobia or stiff neck. She had not been in contact with anyone who was ill and she had not been intimate with birds or foul. She had not been abroad recently and she was taking no medicines or drugs. She simply had a headache. I took her to hospital. They won't find a tumour and they won't even bother trying. She will get better.

I tried to get back across the river and made it as far as SE1 when I got call to a 'bus driver, assaulted, punched in head'. I got on scene in 3 minutes and couldn't find the bus. Well, its not an obvious object in a road full of buses. I knew the police were coming, so as soon as I saw them I tagged along and they led me to the correct vehicle. I had to pull a u-turn to achieve this.

The bus driver was unhurt and didn't want to go to hospital. He was angry about being hit like that and I don't blame him. The man can't even do his job without risk to himself. He had been hit with an iron bar across the head in the past - just for saying "fares please". It's not right.

Ironically, the bus was parked up directly in front of the local police station, yet neither the driver nor his boss had thought of nipping in and speaking to an officer on the front desk. They had called the police instead. Then they had waited for about 6 minutes until they (and I) arrived! Just as well he wasn't badly hurt.

I went to a train station to help a man with learning difficulties get home. He was a little lost and confused after wandering away from his home and he had got his head trapped in the doors of a train, so the ambulance was called (British Transport Police worry about these things). He wasn't really hurt and I established that fairly quickly, but he needed the encouragement, so I told him he was fine and I had the BTP escort him to a bus bound for home. Last time I saw him he was standing at the bus stop with the two officers next to him, waiting for appropriate transportation.

Then a 2-for-1. I attended an elderly lady who had fallen and broken her wrist. I sat her in the car and drove to hospital, as is my routine, but on the way I came across a collapsed female with police in attendance. I felt I couldn't justify driving past, so I asked my patient if she was okay with me stopping and checking this other lady and she nodded her confirmation. I got out and approached the little gathering. The lady on the ground was conscious but had a few minor cuts. The police told me they had been waiting for an ambulance but it had been diverted to a more serious call. I checked the patient out, took a short history and still wasn't sure what was going on. She seemed very confused but not post ictal. She denied being epileptic anyway. She had just collapsed for no reason, according to witnesses. The police thought she might be a bit dodgy and they wanted to check her out but time was pressing and I had a patient in the car with a painful wrist. I thought about it and decided to bundle the new patient into the car too. I took them both to hospital (with a police escort) and got them both assessed at the same time. They were quite happy with that arrangement and the second patient didn't become a werewolf.

When I eventually got on stand-by in Trafalgar Square I heard a mother chastise her young son for chasing the pigeons around.

"Benjamin, get over here! You do NOT go running after birds", she shouted.

"Not 'til you are older anyway", I thought to myself wickedly.

A call to a diabetic going hypo had me summoning up all the skills and knowledge I needed for this particular emergency - chocolate and coke. He was not alert and he was sweating profusely. His own BM meter read 5.6 but I knew that could not be right. Mine said 2.3 - that was more likely. I got a member of staff in his office to gather the necessary materials for appropriate treatment and I fed and watered him for five minutes. I had one chocolate myself too, for moral support.

He recovered very quickly and finished his treatment off with a salad roll. By the time I left him his BM read 6.2 - much better. His meter would have been skewed because his fingers had not been cleaned prior to the first measurement so any sugar residue would have given a falsely high reading. No ambulance and no hospital needed. He's fine and I got a free chocolate.

My last job dragged me South again, this time for a ? fractured ankle that looked more like a sprain to me. The young man had been playing football and had fallen awkwardly, twisting his ankle inward. That'll do it. He heard it crunch and saw the joint go 'wobbly'. It was swollen and bruised. Sprained, possibly fractured.

I splinted it, hopped him to the car, drove him to hospital (very busy now) and chatted along the way, as I do - just tell me to shut up if I bore you. I arrived, unsplinted him, wheel-chaired him to A&E and left him to ponder his footballing future. Nice guy actually.

Be safe.