Night of the rubbish gloves

As usual, I hovered around the Euston area until the congestion charge time had elapsed (thus saving myself £8 in going to work costs) and made my way across the Euston Road at precisely 1801 hours and on to the drag South for Waterloo. Incidentally, we can claim back 50% of the congestion charge (they used to give us all of it) but you need to fill a sheet in every month and have it in by a certain time or you don't get a penny. I am very organised in this department, so I never get a penny.

On the way in I stopped to assist at a RTC in which a cyclist had run into the back of a car and been thrown over it, landing hard on his face - almost right in front of me. He had a cut to his chin that needed to be closed and he was shaken by the experience. I sidled over because I thought he may have needed help. As it was, he had an off-duty nurse attending to him.

"Can I help?", I asked

"No, we are fine here. I'm a nurse", she said without looking up at me once.

"I'm with London Ambulance, you sure I can't help?"

"Oh...didn't recognise you."

I cover my uniform up when I travel to and from work, so I guess I could see her point. I was 35 minutes from being on-duty so if I needed to do anything here I would call it in and get myself pre-shifted, so that I was effectively on-duty (and thus covered by LAS). Its all necessary I suppose. In any case, he had a cut chin and that was hardly a problem, even though the nurse seemed to be quite excited about the prospect that he might need a stitch. A colleague of mine turned up and I left him to it.

I wandered into work and went through my usual routine: VDI; drugs; paperwork; stabvest and jacket. Ready.

My first call was a Red1, to a suspended patient in a restaurant in the West End. That call got cancelled as I made my way there. Apparently, the patient was breathing and had a pulse. I wondered just how bad the food was.

Then, ironically, I went to a cyclist who had collided with a car and had, wait for it, gone over and hit the pavement hard, cutting his chin (and lip). He was also concussed - he kept repeating the same question "where did you come from?" over and over. Or maybe he was just curious about my accent - or trousers.

Another emergency call that got cancelled as I prepared to get my teeth into it was a Red1 for a man 'collapsed at the wheel of a car, ? breathing'. My first instinct was that this was nothing more than a drunk driver. Sometimes you can get things very wrong when you assume, so I put my cynicism aside, raced up towards the scene, along with one of the motorcycle paramedics and then shut it all down when the cancellation came through - that harsh ringing sound that says you aren't going to work on this call. The crew that cancelled it told me later on that he was nothing more than a drunk driver after all.

I spent a long time in Leicester Square tonight. I wasn't rushing around like normal for a Friday night, partly because EOC wanted to use the cars for emergencies only and partly because FRED kept sending calls and then cancelling them immediately. I got a whole string of calls that were cancelled as I prepared to run on them. In the end, I radio'd in to ask if I was required or not. It saved me the hassle of getting my gloves on and annoying other drivers by shutting down my lights and sirens (without apparent explanation) after I had forced them all to the side of the road and made Moses of the public highway.

And the gloves. Well, usually they are a bit of a pain to put on but tonight they seemed to fight with me every time. I struggled to get them over my hands without a finger or two sticking out at an air-filled angle. Sometimes I blow into them so that they are easier to put on but that can look bizarre to passers-by, so I don't always do that. They are powder-free things and they cause only one allergic reaction - frustration. I will get a fresh box tonight I think.

As I sat in the Square, I noticed three young lads, probably around 13 years of age, sauntering by, smoking a cigarette. At least I thought it was a cigarette until I caught a whiff of the smoke and then noticed how they were holding it and sharing it. Cheeky gits.

Then a gang of about 30 motorcyclists descended on the Square, driving, rather alarmingly, over the pedestrian area to park up at McDonald's for a healthy meal. They caused a lot of commotion - noise and excitement and the police didn't like it, so they were told to clear off. They did but only after making a fuss and almost getting themselves arrested. When they were gone, the only evidence left behind that they had ever been there was the pile of rubbish on the pavement. Nice touch.

A couple of young girls thought it would be fun to come up to the passenger side window of the car, lift their tops and expose their (covered) breasts to me. I didn't complain. That would be rude. Smile and wave, boy, smile and wave.

A run up to an underground station for a 'male fallen, with head injuries' led to me to the end of another fruitless call. A vehicle was already on scene and I was not required. I returned to my usual area of operation and a young woman ran up to the car, thumping on the window, asking for help. I asked her what was wrong and she said her friend wasn't well.

"Is she not well, or is she drunk?", I asked

"She's not well...and she's drunk", came the reply

I went over to where she sat, surrounded by her friends. I knelt down beside her and asked her what was wrong.

"I need hospital. If you are the ambulance I will talk to you", she slurred.

"I am the ambulance", I said, "what do you want me to do though?"

"I want to go to hospital. I'm ill."

If I didn't take her, she would have ambulances out to help her all night. When I asked her friend why they didn't just get a taxi home, her reply was the standard default. "There are no taxis". Not quite true, I thought, you still have the LAS at hand.

This girl couldn't (or wouldn't) walk so I said I would lift her to the car. Her friend looked me up and down and said "do you want a hand?". Cheek.

So I lifted her (yes, on my own) to the car, poured her in and allowed her friend to travel with her. I took them to hospital and the hospital staff were more than happy to receive them. I don't think I have ever seen such a look of disappointment on a nurse's face.

My last call of the night came in the early hours of the morning as I sat on stand-by. A man ran up to the car. He was covered in blood. He thumped on the window (they all do that) and then he opened the car door. Now that was a step too far and it worried me a little. I told him to stay outside the vehicle and asked him what was wrong. He explained that his friend had just been stabbed. I looked at the blood, looked again at him and decided he didn't have a knife. I hoped.

I called it in, requesting an ambulance and the police and asked Control to track me so that they knew where I was going with this man. I told him to get in the back of the car and to take me to his friend. I asked him twice if the attacker was still on scene - he said no, so I continued. I drove around the corner and his friend was standing in the street with a couple of PCSO's. His friend had no injuries, so it was quickly assumed that someone else had been stabbed, possibly the assailant.

I waited on scene until the ambulance arrived and explained what had happened. The police were now looking for someone with a stab wound, as well as a gang of youths in possession of a large knife, according to the man covered in blood. He told me he had felt the knife touch him when one of the gang had robbed him of his phone. His friend had hidden under a parked vehicle and the gang had spotted him. When the man ran, he assumed the gang had laid into and stabbed his mate. Scary.

I spent the last hour of my morning standing on Waterloo Bridge, looking at the water and the boats and the scenery. I do love London, its full of the strangest, nastiest, nicest people I have ever met.

Be safe.